

This one cracked me up. I swear, take out the bookshelf, throw in a black velvet backdrop, maybe a stuffed animal or perhaps a wicker chair and you've got the perfect 1990 olan mills photos. Please tell me you remember those? I had one made every year. "Good. Now look at the camera. Place your hands close together. A slight head tilt. And smile." Slap the year on the bottom right corner and you've got an olan mills original. Thank goodness photography has stepped out of the box these past few years.

On second thought, maybe I should reconsider that whole comedy career thing. Turns out only 1 out of 2 of my test subjects think I'm that funny.

50 percent of my audience actually fell asleep at the height of my routine. I like to thing he laughed so hard he could no longer contain himself.

When he wakes up he'll beg for an encore. I just know it.
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