Top 7.

The off season is here.  

Time to bask in the pure joy of quality family time.  It always amazes me how quickly we return to our 24/7ish lifestyle when baseball season ends.  

Many of you whom read this blog have first hand knowledge in this career choice.  Others are intrigued by the sheer stardom of this so called "celebrity life."  Ah, the misconceptions.  I've always felt that when they post a players salary online (major league), which by the way, 1. I think is absurd that it is public knowledge and 2.am judging you if you've actually researched it, they should include in bold, not fine print the salary that the individual was paid to get to that point. Add how much time they spent away from their family, rental fees, hotel rooms, I'll stop. With this in mind, I've decided to do the Jenn McPherson Top 7 reasons why a wife is ecstatic the off season is here:  (Who stays up for Letterman anyway?)

7.   She can actually go to bed before 1 a.m.  This is formerly known as the time her hubby calls to talk about his night which either gets you out of sleep mode via the "I suck" phone call or the much more anticipated "4-4, I'm on fire right now" call.  Either or, it is inevitable that you will not actually fall asleep until 2 a.m. only to wake by 7 a.m. This really began to matter post baby if you catch my drift.

6.   You can actually go on a date. Don't get me wrong, off days are thrown in here and there, but I'm talking Friday night, don't have to talk about what the coach is thinking kind of date.  

5.  When you buy a new outfit, it can actually go home, in a real drawer.  For example, this season, I had no drawers.  Nope, my clothes went from a Nordstrom bag directly into a suitcase.  And nothing beats living in a rental.  I am of the belief that no baseball wife (I am excluding the mega bucks wives, sorry) can even think about the place she is renting for 6 months.  The beds, carpet, sheets, pots and pans....this can make you have a phobia in a split second.  Oh, and it gets better, all that and know that you are paying more than your mortgage for the place....ugghhh.

4.  You finally have face to face conversations.  This is weird at first. It is no longer you, Elmo and your child in the car.  I've even had to get used to the passenger side again...weird....but good weird.

3.  You put away the planner.  No more schedule stalking, floridamarlins.com hoopla.  No counting down the days til you see each other again.  Out goes the "Do I buy a ticket now for this roadtrip or can we go longer apart?"  You actually enjoy every second of everyday and have absolutely no desire the put X's on a calendar.  The slower the day, the better.

2.  You are no longer in the house alone.  Fortunately, I didn't have this issue this year, but when we were in AZ, I made sure the alarm was on and I pulled some Charlie's Angel type moves around the corners until Rookie and I made it into the bedroom.  Shortly thereafter, door locked, alarm on.  No house feels as safe without your husband.

1.  This is my favorite.  How do I put this right?  Okay, so when you are in this lifestyle it is not always so good to divulge to perfect strangers ie: questionable neighbors, that your husband plays baseball.  Foremost, it really is no one's business and your not bragging.  You, completely understand that while, to you, your husband is bigger than Derek Jeter, they, probably have never, ever heard of him.  If they have, now is the time to worry.  This means they are die hard fans and may need memorabilia to sell on ebay.  So, you try your best, especially if you know you will never see this person again, to avoid the "what does your husband do?" question.  You can usually steer clear until they ask what you do "I don't work."  Hmmm...you can see the wheels spinning.  Who pays the bills?  Are they drug dealers?  Why do they travel?I love when you tell people you are only home in the winter. Are we retired?  Lotto winners? The off season clears you of this at first.   You are both together, as the average American fam.  This is until they realize you are both home during the day, never going to work-insert drug dealer conclusion.  

I only had seven because I am house stressing and not so funny these days, so if you come up with more, please post!  I know there are lots more. Life sure seems right.  I get to blog with my hubby watching tv next to me, my princess on the video monitor and here shortly, I will crawl in bed with him next to me.  All of this completes me. 

Not to take this too far and I hesitated filling in those of you that do not have the joy of seeing me in the state I'm in over the next few months.  Whatever.  Blogging is truth even if it is smearing my coolness.  Dallas and I both have braces on our teeth.  Yes, no stuttering on the computer, we have braces...by choice!  We figured it was better than botox and we wanted to look more youthful.  No, Dallas needed braces and never had them as a kid.  I had braces throughout middle school and my teeth were great.  I was told to wear my retainer and well, I was an eighth grader with fabulous teeth so I worked them and put the retainer somewhere special for years to come.  My genius decision, which I'm sure panned out well for me then, gave my teeth a slight flare later in life.  It drives me crazy!  I am teeth picky.  So, it seemed like the perfect time.  We are home and (hopefully not seeing new people) near the ortho who is family to us.  Why not, right?  My friend Audrey said she wouldn't do it if they made her at 30..funny!  I am taking on the challenge.  It stinks but I hope is well worth it.  Please do not judge, people.  We are ready for the "Can you guys make sparks when you kiss?" or my personal favorite, "Do your braces get stuck together?"  We can let you know if either of these occur.  I'msure you are on the edge of your seats. For now, we are metal mouths who look hilarious with our braces.  It is actually 10 times worse when you see us together.  Totally cheesy.  We are thinking of dressing alike too.  

Two metal mouths in love.  That's us.  And we're just fine with that.